When I was nine
When I was nine and smoking cigarettes with Susan Berringer outside of her house in Wethersfield, she told me she got me a date with kid called Jimmy. I hadn’t asked for a date, but I agreed to it. She...
View ArticleMaude
do you not know how to edit how to stay quiet how to keep your lips tight when what you know is more than you should say when it has been made clear from the beginning that there is no place for noise...
View ArticleI have been thinking
In case you are wondering where I have been and what I have been up to, I have been trying to gain weight. And I have been thinking. I have been thinking about what the truth is. From the deepest …...
View ArticleThanks
This Thanksgiving, Ferdinand and I are going out to eat. I have never been out to eat on Thanksgiving, so it feels like I am going somewhere I have never been. Like Aruba, or Copenhagen. I chose the...
View ArticleTo start:
Cranberry sauce is a perfect thing to make first for Thanksgiving. If you made it now, it will last at least 10 days in the fridge because of the sugar. A bag of cranberries costs $2.48, so if you have...
View ArticleRoast the Turkey
It would be easy to write about family, if you didn’t have to write the truth. I have been trained to let truth go, like a balloon that slips from your wrist and floats away. My senior year of high...
View ArticleThe Independent Life of Hearts and Hands
I have a perfectly good reservation tomorrow at M. Wells, a more than good restaurant. An excellent restaurant. And yet. I walked over the bridge to Brooklyn and starting feeling up the turkeys at Key...
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Gift the Onions
There is nothing more humble than an onion really. It grows in the dirt. It almost always gets the bottom shelf closest to the floor, and if you are low on cash, an onion lights up in neon. For the...
View ArticleOver 21
(I am a mother.) Can you imagine, if all you had to make love to was a rubber doll? Gives you the shivers, doesn’t it. Most people would rather just fall asleep and do without. The thing is, we have to...
View ArticleTanika
Tanika is a young mom with a toddler. She lives in Queens. She is an interior designer and has a masters degree in science. She glows when she talks about her husband, and she delights in her daughter....
View Articlewhat to do when there is nothing left to do
It is almost Spring. Just forget about the present situation and let that soak in for a minute. Feels better, doesn’t it. Daffodils and little sprigs of wild arugula and dandelion greens in the fields....
View Articlewill cook for French
Ferdinand has a French tutor. She comes on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 6:30 for dinner and at 7:00, I do the dishes, and they do the French. She is a friend of mine and as reliable as the sun rises and...
View ArticleHold on
Way back in 1978, when my family came to NYC to see the museums (not the sights, not Broadway, not the food) my stepfather was predicting a pandemic. He was even more frugal than he was apocalyptic, so...
View ArticleI am a cook
I am a cook. It is not only how I make a living, but it is who I am. I speak in Food. As of yesterday there are no more jobs on the horizon, but I continue to cook. Ferdinand needs to be fed. My...
View ArticleBrave New World
Huxley wrote the dystopian novel amidst massive unemployment and abandonment of the gold currency in England, way back in 1931. He was convinced that in order for people to be happy, there had to be...
View Articlesurvival mode, NYC
as the days go by, I am struggling to eat. I offer up all kinds of treats for breakfast to myself that I know I love. Corn cakes with blueberries and maple syrup, or yogurt with pumpkin seeds and...
View ArticleVintage for the win
The man I love, makes clothes. Not just any clothes. Clothes that take your breath away. Beautiful clothes that fit like nothing ever fit before. The colors remind you of what color is meant to be and...
View Articleon the bright side
I have nearly a full roll of toilet paper. I woke up at 3:16 this morning, but couldn’t move. There is nothing wrong with me physically, unless I am an asymptomatic carrier and the virus is lurking in...
View ArticleOrder everything
My mom hated hospitals. “Hospitals” she would say, “are dangerous. They are full of sick people.” True. When you were in the hospital, she felt it was important to remind you of the danger over the...
View ArticleOver 21
(I am a mother.) Can you imagine, if all you had to make love to was a rubber doll? Gives you the shivers, doesn’t it. Most people would rather just fall asleep and do without. The thing is, we have to...
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